I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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