i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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