Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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