Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
