i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
