I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
