She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair