the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
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For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito