The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
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I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.