She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
