Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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