pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
