it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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