he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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