Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
