I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
