Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
