my vag is so smooth its legendary
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He? As in you personified your dick?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize