i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
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It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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