You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Randomize
