Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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