Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
