OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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