just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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