she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
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she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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