i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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