i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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