you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My feet surprised me
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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