We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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