Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
