all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
