I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
no. you can't hotbox the world.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm experimenting with sincerity
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
