I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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