Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
