he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
