i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
it was like eating out sand paper
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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