Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize