Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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