I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
