ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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