real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
