ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I believe in your delicious
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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