STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize