Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My nipple is on Facebook.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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