shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
