my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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