this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
