I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
