pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
