She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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