All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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