its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
My liver just had a heart attack.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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