Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
