Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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