forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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