just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
