yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
