i jhust puked up my retainher.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
