I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
