You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
