I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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