There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
